After five days up in the middle of nowhere focusing on art adjusting to being back to the city is a bit of a challenge. The city is loud and dirty with too many people. Yesterday I went to the Arnold Arboretum to sketch and get away a bit and I had a really hard time connecting with nature with the sound of the cars outside and all the people walking around. As soon as I would start to relax and sketch a woman would walk buy with clicking heels or an off leash dog would get in my face. I did manage to find a good location to sketch with minimal interruption, but it will take me a little while to get used to being back in the city.
Both of my kids are in school most of the day for the first time in the seven years since I became a mother. This is the first day of our first full week with this new schedule and it is a little intimidating. I feel distracted, anxious and intimidated by the passing time. There is road repaving happening right outside our apartment that is so loud that the whole place is shaking. Not exactly a super zen environment for my first day. But hopefully they should be done in the next couple of days and at the worst by the end of the week. Then I will have no excuses. I made myself a simple breakfast, drew my breakfast, worked on a painting for JPOS, painted in my sketchbook a bit and then decided I was ready to work on my blog. I lack focus, a clear schedule and order to my days but that will come. I have time.
The beloved green with scooters Timbuk2 messenger bag that I have had for about a decade was stolen out of my car while I dropped my six year old off at kindergarten. I take her to a reading specialist in the burbs on Thursdays and we get to school late so the street was quiet and empty when the thief struck. And I was distracted after a difficult morning and must have left my car unlocked for the two minutes it takes to drop her off inside the building. They got my wallet, bag, phone, a library book, a bunch of art supplies and two sketchbooks. My favorite and nearly full sketchbook is gone. I am still hoping that at the very least my sketchbook comes back to me. I feel sad and violated. This thief ruined my morning but not my day. I had this bag for ten years and I can't find a single picture of it.
I am starting to suspect that happiness is tied to the ability to adapt and roll with the punches of life. Sadly, that is not my natural way of being. My nature is to freak out when something doesn't go as planned. Then get mentally stuck in the problem and the perceived loss. But I am learning bit by bit how to roll with the changeability of life more these days.
The other week I got an extended lesson on being adaptable after dropping the kids off at school when I learned that I had dropped my keys. It was one of the coldest days of the year. Thankfully I found out because the person that had picked them up had called one of the businesses that I have a keychain card for and identified me. Bad news was I had to get myself to the Longwood area to pick up my keys from her. It was a freezing walk carrying my child's mini kick scooter and at times I thought my body parts were going to start falling off. Despite the cold I decided to make the best of being in that area and go a little farther to the Museum of Fine Arts and buy some printmaking paper at the school supply store. They have the best paper selection in the area. By the time I got home it was time to pick up the little one. Oh well. I needed paper and there is never really a convenient time to get it. The next day when I unrolled my paper I learned that I had been given the wrong paper and had to go back and exchange it. Oh well again. I did that last weekend. It was no longer freezing but mild and rather sunny. I walked around Fenway and got lunch at my favorite Thai Restaurant. And they gave me an extra sheet of paper for my trouble. Not so bad at all. The journey took longer than planned but the ending was a lot sweeter.
There is never enough time yet there are hours that seem to drag by at a painfully slow pace. It can be hard to find the time to work everyday with children and a house keeping me busy. I love my family and I love making our hundred year old small urban apartment more homey feeling and personalized. But the work that needs to be done is seemingly endless. But with my changing schedule I find myself with more time, maybe even enough time if I'm really lucky.