Our first year abroad came and went last week. The first year was an exciting yet challenging combination of fun travel, stress and isolation. So far this year we get to keep the fun travel and dump most of the stress. Could not be better!
Moving across the ocean in two weeks is stressful and distracting. Who knew? I am going to miss our friends in Boston so much but at this point I just want to get it over with and get over there already. We have one more full week in our home then the movers come and pack us up and we spend part of a week in temporary housing in Boston. Then we fly out on a Friday red eye flight. The girls are due to start their new school in the UK that following Monday. Some art supplies will come with me on the airplane. Some will go on the small air shipment but most of it will go on a boat and take a month or longer to get to us along with all of our furniture. I need to choose wisely. Temporary housing is waiting for us over in the UK. We will be fine. My goal is to keep working, prepare to depart and enjoy our friends here while we still have them. Life is a party at the moment.
Often I feel very impatient to have my skills catch up to my desires. Learning to slow down, breathe and enjoy the journey rather than fret and worry is something that I struggle with. Anticipating vacations is often something filled with similar anxiety and worry. Drives my husband batty since he is a much more chill person than as well as very logical and anxiety over fun things like vacations doesn't make a lot of sense to him. Thankfully as we take more vacations as a family and I even get to go out on my own once or twice a year this anxiety is starting to wane a bit. But the anxiety I have over my artistic skills and accomplishments still beats strong. I compare myself to others and see all my shortcomings and have a mini freak out. Today I tell myself to relax and enjoy the journey in my sketchbook. Whatever my destination to trust that I will get there. Working on some continuous line and blind contour drawings and other sketches on this lovely Friday. Planning for a fantastic weekend with all sorts of cool and inspiring events happening right in Boston. This weekend I will remember that I can change and not just grow in artistic skills and pick up new positive habits such as keeping a sketchbook and running, but I can also grow and become less anxious over time.
This morning was hard. This week is not off to a great start. I need a redo. After a fairly fabulous weekend the family is having a hard time adjusting to our ordinary week. The girls were fighting over everything this morning while I was trying to write and I was not handling the stress of it very well. Then it was time to take the big to school and drop the little off at a friend's house. Somewhere on my drive home while I was stuck in traffic I realized I was alone again and stopped stressing out so much. I am giving myself a redo and clearing my head and starting over.
Procrastinating art making is what I am currently beating myself up over. I don't have a clear project that I am working on and that is probably why it is so hard for me to use my time to create. I don't know what I am creating just yet. I know I need to do research and sketch and be ready to start carving a new block soon but so far the inspiration is not there. I need a schedule to pour over my books and do the research and the sketching to find the right design that I will love to print from for years to come. Something like the starfish block that I caved last winter. My deadline for myself is to be carving by winter and printing by spring. Carving can take a very long time so this deadline is not as forgiving as it may seem.
This post is a part of Just Write, an Extraordinary Ordinary writing project. My first attempt to join a group writing challenge.